What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (2023)

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Sleeping Couples

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Last updated on February 7, 2020

A couple's sleeping position can say a lot about what kind of relationship they have and how they really feel about each other. Your subconscious controls the way you sleep, so sleep-fueled body language can serve as an interesting insight into what might be going on, even if you're not aware of certain things while the sun is up. Here, we've culled information from scientists, psychologists, therapists, and relationship counselors to interpret what 12 different couple sleeping positions might mean.

The Spoon

Spooning is the most well-known of couple sleeping positions, but according to a 2015 study conducted by relationship psychologist Corinne Sweet, only 18% of couples actually prefer it. Sweet says spooning is a "traditional position" that indicates protectiveness and comfort in the relationship. In addition to the "I trust you" vibe—one partner literally has the other's back—it's also a fairly sexual position, favored by couples who are comfortable with intimacy.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (4)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Loose Spoon

A variation on the traditional Spoon, the Loose Spoon just means there's a bit of space between the couple. Don't mistake those few inches for lack of intimacy, though. On the contrary, it usually means you've been together long enough to trust one another and don't feel the need to constantly be touching. This position is the natural evolution of a couple who started their relationship in a tight Spoon but now recognizes quality sleep (and some space) is important.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (5)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Chasing Spoon

Though this one may look like a standard Spoon, the Chasing Spoon is usually a little lopsided: One person has moved away from the center of the bed, and the other "chases" to physically reconnect. According to Sleep Positions: The Night Language of the Body, the Chasing Spoon could simply mean that one partner wants more space in the bed. The other, less literal interpretation is that the partner doing the drifting wants to be pursued.

(Video) What your sleep position says about your relationship | HOUSTON LIFE | KPRC 2
What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (6)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Unraveling Knot

Like the Loose Spoon, this position is typical of couples who've been together for some time. Though they start out touching (the Knot), they eventually "unravel" into independence. Sweet says it's a "compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds," though only about 8% of couples favor this position.

The Back Kissers

About 23% of couples fall asleep in this position, according to Sweet's study. The Back Kissers fall asleep back-to-back, with contact along the spine. You're connected but independent enough to appreciate your own space in bed. Because your butts still touch, you want to stay sexually connected despite your confidence to face in opposite directions. Chances are you're a new couple who doesn't yet have a reason for distrust or have been together for a while and are relaxed and comfortable with one another.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (8)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Liberty Lovers

Another position more common with established couples, the Liberty Lovers sleep back-to-back, but with space between them. Sweet's study found 27% of couples fall sleep this way. Despite facing opposite directions and not touching, this position actually indicates you're connected and secure. You can be close without touching, sharing a bed but independent. You're the kind of couple that's OK doing things alone but can't wait to be back together to share stories and recount your day.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (9)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Shingles

Not the sexiest name on the list but one that indicates a high level of comradeship. Typically, both partners are on their backs, with one resting his or her head on the other's shoulder. Because of the strong egos here (people who sleep on their backs are thought to possess big personalities), when one partner complies and lets the other play protector, it means you really understand each other. It indicates confidence in the relationship.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (10)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Nuzzle

The ultimate sign of trust and protection, the Nuzzle is common in new and rekindled relationships. When one partner sleeps with his or her head on the other's chest, it creates a nurturing, open position and a sense of companionship as you snuggle.

Sleeping on your back indicates confidence and self-assurance and sends the message that you're using your power to protect your partner. If you're the one resting on your partner, you're independently dependent—capable of doing your own thing but appreciative of and in love with your significant other.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (11)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Tangle

Ah, young love! If you favor the Tangle, chances are you're in a fairly new relationship and can't bear to be separated for even a second. It's an incredibly intimate position that means you can't get enough of each other. If, however, you're still sleeping like this after the six-month mark, it could mean you're too dependent on each other. Just 2% of couples prefer this position.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (12)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

(Video) What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship

The Leg Hug

The Leg Hug is a little unclear, as it can indicate a number of things. If only one person is doing the "hugging," it could signal that they are craving a connection with the other (kind of like the Chasing Spoon). And since your legs are first to react in a fight-or-flight situation, they're often the most honest part of the body.

If you're both intertwined, you're equally passionate, and the emotional and sexual connection is strong. Just like your legs, your lives are blended and balanced.

A third interpretation of the Leg Hug is that since the contact is so casual, it could imply you're ambivalent about expressing affection or just had a fight but are trying to maintain a connection, despite heated emotions.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (13)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

The Stomach Snoozers

A couple that sleeps on their stomachs might want to think about having a conversation. Because sleeping facedown protects the front of the body, the Stomach Snoozer position could be indicating signs of anxiety, emotional fear, vulnerability, or lack of control.

It's also not an intimate position—none of the body parts associated with sex are in play here—so it could also mean there's a lack of sexual trust in the relationship.

The Space Hog

If your partner spreads out with little regard for where you are in the bed, it could be a negative sign for the relationship. The Space Hog—who, as the name indicates, spreads themselves out in bed, taking up all the space—is behaving selfishly and has little regard for your needs.

If one partner dominates the bed, it's likely they dominate the relationship, relegating their partner to a secondary, submissive role. If one partner's head is higher (closer to the headboard) than the other's, that could signal they're more confident than their lower-sleeping partner. Conversely, if your heads are parallel, you are like-minded equals.

What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship (15)

Jenny Chang-Rodriguez

Remember these are just clues and interpretations, not diagnoses. If you're worried about your relationship or the way you're sharing the bed, just talk to your partner about it. If you're happy with your relationship and fine with whatever position you doze off in, that's all that matters.

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FAQs

What does your sleeping position tell you about your relationship? ›

If one partner dominates the bed, it's likely they dominate the relationship, relegating their partner to a secondary, submissive role. If one partner's head is higher (closer to the headboard) than the other's, that could signal they're more confident than their lower-sleeping partner.

Why do couples sleep facing away from each other? ›

Couples that sleep facing away from each other and not touching are often in a mature, healthy relationship built on trust and independence. By facing away from each other, the couple is showing that they trust their partner, and don't need constant reassurance to keep that trust.

Why do I sleep with my back to my partner? ›

This is often common in new relationships and suggests that both partners are relaxed and comfortable with one another. For avid spooners, this sleeping position comes in third place and means that one partner is more protective over the other.

What side of the bed do most females sleep on? ›

The survey also found that “more than half of the nation (54 percent) prefers the right side of the bed.” The survey also found that women are 24 percent more likely to face away from their partner, while males are 14 percent more likely to snag the right side of the bed.

Why do girls sleep with their leg up? ›

"Having both legs up during sleep would pull weight off the pelvis, and could potentially help someone with low back pain, but one leg up may do the opposite," says Breus. Do you sleep with a pillow between your legs at night?

What does it mean when you sleep butt to butt with your partner? ›

Let's be honest – this one is pretty self-explanatory. The Butt-to-Butt position involves sleeping back-to-back with your partner, while maintaining some contact on the lower half of the body. Usually, this will be parts of the lower back or butt. Butt to butt can be a very comfortable way to sleep.

Why does my boyfriend wants to sleep on my thighs? ›

Most boys want to sleep on their gf thighs. It's similar to a baby sleeping on the mom's chest, it would make him feel wanted and safe(it also shows trust, as he's making him the most vulnerable while holding onto you). It also can be a sign of sexual attraction, affection.

Why does wife sleep on left side of husband? ›

According to vastu, the wife should sleep on the left side of her husband, for a loving and smooth relationship. 7. Positioning of mirrors is very important in a bedroom. Mirrors facing the bed should be strictly avoided.

Which side should husband sleep? ›

Wife should always take the left side of the bed and the husband should sleep on the right side. 6. It is highly recommended that couples should use wooden beds and not metal beds in bedroom as wood absorbs negative energies.

How does sleeping position reveals your personality? ›

This position can be linked to shyness and sensitivity. People who sleep on one side with arms outstretched may be open-natured but somewhat suspicious. They also tend to stick with their decisions. Stomach sleeping with hands up or under the pillow is linked to a sociable nature and a dislike of criticism.

What does cuddling while sleeping mean? ›

Although more research has been done on the relation between sex and sleep, cuddling with a romantic partner may also induce feelings of calmness, comfort, and relaxation that are conducive to sleep. Studies have found that spending more time in bed with a partner is associated with better sleep quality.

What does hugging a pillow mean? ›

The pillow hugger sleeping position actually has many benefits, most of which are psychological. Pillow hugging has a similar effect on the body as hugging a significant other. It triggers the release of oxytocin in the brain, which in turn can relieve pain, boost your immune system and alleviate stress.

Does sleeping naked help lose weight? ›

If sleeping naked helps you to stay asleep longer, it can help to reduce your risk of obesity and weight gain. Adults who sleep 5 hours per night or less are more likely to gain significant amounts of weight compared to those who sleep 7 hours or more.

How do guys pair with Bond? ›

To bond more deeply with a romantic partner make sure to:
  1. Kill the boring dates. Do new exciting stuff. ...
  2. Don't fix the negatives. Build on the positives. ...
  3. Really get to know them. Use Arthur Aron's questions. ...
  4. Reminisce about the times you laughed. Emphasize similarity.
  5. Pretend you're on your first date again.

Why do guys sleep closest to the door? ›

Some listeners claim that they choose the right side as a way to "protect" their significant other. When sleeping, they choose the side that is closest to the door. In the event of a home invasion, the man would be able to put himself between his partner and the attacker.

What side of the bed says about you? ›

Those who sleep on the left believe they are calmer than their partner in a crisis and are more confident in general. It's also reported that left side sleepers are believed to have a greater level of job satisfaction than right-siders. Left-side sleepers may have something else going for them, too.

Why shouldn't you sleep on your right side? ›

One notable drawback to sleeping on your side is that it can increase your risk of shoulder pain. Whether you're on your left or right side, the corresponding shoulder can collapse into the mattress as well as up toward your neck, creating misalignment and pain the next morning.

Why do girls sleep with a pillow between their legs? ›

Putting a pillow between your legs keeps your pelvis neutral and prevents your spine from rotating during the night. Maintaining good alignment can relieve some of the stress from the tissues in your back and may potentially reduce pain caused by a herniated disc or sciatica.

What sleeping position makes you gain weight? ›

2: Sleeping on your stomach

While it's a good position for snoring or sleep apnea, the benefits don't extend much further. Unfortunately, sleeping on your stomach can cause both neck and back pain. It's also been shown to be one of the positions that can cause the most weight gain because of its after-effects.

What does it mean when you sleep with one leg bent up? ›

Sleeping on your side with one leg bent

This position means that you're nervous or tend to get stressed very easily. A lot of college students are fund to sleep regularly in this position. People who sleep like this should take extra time to relax and indulge in de-stressing exercises like yoga.

Does sleeping next to someone make you closer? ›

Sleeping next to someone can also help promote deep REM sleep. Emotionally, sleeping next to someone means reduced anxiety, a sense of safety, improved sleep quality, and increased happiness. Sleeping next to someone can also create a stronger relationship bond.

What does the cuddling position mean? ›

Spooning

Spooning means when your partner takes an intimate and protective stance for the other by holding them from the back. One partner cocoons the other in a hug from behind while both face the same side. Spooning position offers a sense of protectiveness and an “I have got your back” vibe.

Why shouldnt we wear socks while sleeping? ›

Wearing socks while sleeping can increase the risk of poor hygiene. If your socks are too light, not clean or made of unbreathable fabric, it increases your chances of infection and odours. Choose socks that are made of cotton or bamboo and ensure you wear a fresh pair before going to bed.

What married couples do at night? ›

Many couples used to take time after dinner to stroll around town. So if you and your partner are looking for an easy way to bond, consider adding this to your nighttime routine. As you meander down the sidewalk, you'll naturally focus on the moment and being with each other.

Should a woman sit to the left or right of a man? ›

There is one rule regarding whether a woman should sit on the left or right of her husband, but many couples have no idea which side that is. According to tradition, a woman is supposed to sit on her husband's left side because his right arm was considered his “sword arm.”

How much sleep does a 70 year old need? ›

Older adults need about the same amount of sleep as all adults—7 to 9 hours each night.

How should a husband and wife stand? ›

At the same time, there is a belief that a wife should remain on the left side while doing earthly tasks i.e. deeds which are cosmic, like blessings and spreading the feet of a Brahmin. While the wife should sit to the right of the husband while performing Kanyadaan, marriage, Yajna Karma, Puja, or any religious work.

How do married couples sleep? ›

One of the most widely known couples' sleeping positions, spooning involves one person acting as the “big spoon,” cocooning the other in a sideways hug. “It can be a comfort for many people being so close to their partner,” says Dr.

Is it normal for a husband and wife to sleep in separate rooms? ›

Sleeping apart may make sense just for a little personal space. Whatever the motivation, there is no reason you can't sleep in different rooms if you both feel it would be beneficial. It doesn't make you a bad couple. It doesn't mean your marriage or intimate life has to suffer.

Which side of bed should the woman sleep feng shui? ›

To bring harmony to a bedroom the female should always sleep on the left hand side of the bed and the man on the right (if you are standing at the end of the bed looking at the bedhead).

What does the Yearner sleeping position mean? ›

Yearner. “Yearners” are people who sleep on their side, with their arms outstretched as if reaching for something. 13% of the population are said to assume this sleeping position. Those who choose this sleeping position tend to be very open and inviting. They easily embrace new experiences and people.

What does sleeping on right side mean? ›

People with Heart Conditions. The results from a 2003 study suggest sleeping on the right side can help people with heart conditions. In this sleeping position, sleepers may feel less pressure on their heart. The results also indicate that right side sleeping helps stabilize blood pressure and heart rate.

What does sleeping on your stomach mean? ›

Sleep researcher Dunkell posited that stomach sleepers tend to be anxious, impulsive, compulsive, and rigid, traits he said work well for jobs in accounting, banking, and management. Similarly, researchers in 1980 and 2002 found that stomach sleepers were more likely to be anxious and less self-confident.

How do guys like to be hugged? ›

Often a passionate hug is leading to more, but it doesn't have to. If you want to turn the hug into a kiss, lean your torso back so your hips are still pressed together, look him in the eyes, and go for it. If you want to end the hug, squeeze him gently, and lean back.

What does cuddling do to a guy? ›

"Cuddling, especially with someone you like, gives you a sense of closeness and relaxed intimacy that's difficult to find in other activities. If you feel comfortable with the other person, it kind of just let's you relax and not have to do much physically.

What is the difference between snuggling and cuddling? ›

In modern usage, the term “cuddle” suggests the action of more handling. In this regard, you make use more of your hands when you cuddle. On the other hand, the term “snuggle” only involves less manual movements. Its definition states that when you snuggle, you only perform a burrowing action.

Why does my boyfriend cuddle a pillow? ›

This is a self soothing move. He's cuddling it like he would you, suggesting he craves comfort and reassurance. He is stressed and keeps his emotions bottled up. The grip on the pillow is his body's way of releasing tension.

What does it mean when you sleep with your arms crossed over your chest? ›

Sleeping with your arms over your chest can be seen as a form of self-soothing and could indicate that you're feeling anxious, defensive or frustrated, or if the tales of Dracula are to be believed, you might be a vampire.

Why do I hug myself? ›

It can help you feel safe and secure

When someone you care for wraps their arms around you in a hug, for example, you probably feel comforted and less alone. Giving yourself a hug can replicate these feelings of comfort and safety. Think of it as a sort of stand-in until you can hug someone else again.

Is it OK to sleep without a bra on? ›

Sleep without bra is medically good but if you really have to, there are some things to take note of, ladies! If your bra has an underwire, it could also cause discomfort and keep you from getting a good night's sleep.

Does sleeping with someone create a bond? ›

Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone.

What is the flat belly overnight trick? ›

Flat Belly Overnight's trick consists of two eBooks comprising of a template and a detox formula along with a series of three minute effective exercise videos that aim to assist users in shedding the stubborn belly fat by carrying out the right exercising techniques.

What makes a strong bond in a relationship? ›

A strong bond relies on trust, so try to be open and vulnerable with your partner. Tell them when you're having a hard time or feeling down, and expect the same level of openness from them! When an issue arises, talk about it rather than ignoring it, since open communication is key to a strong bond.

How long does pair bonding last? ›

Human pair bonding

These bonds can be temporary or last a lifetime. Pair bonding is a behavioral and physiological bond between two mated individuals, and is rare among non-human primates.

What is deep bonding? ›

A deep-discount bond is a bond that sells at a significantly lesser value than its par value. In particular, these bonds sell at a discount of 20% or more to par and has a yield that is significantly higher than the prevailing rates of fixed-income securities with a similar profiles.

How does sleeping position reveals your personality? ›

This position can be linked to shyness and sensitivity. People who sleep on one side with arms outstretched may be open-natured but somewhat suspicious. They also tend to stick with their decisions. Stomach sleeping with hands up or under the pillow is linked to a sociable nature and a dislike of criticism.

Which side should husband sleep? ›

Wife should always take the left side of the bed and the husband should sleep on the right side. 6. It is highly recommended that couples should use wooden beds and not metal beds in bedroom as wood absorbs negative energies.

Do most couples cuddle when sleeping? ›

Nearly Half Of All Couples Don't Cuddle When They Sleep.

What side of the bed says about you? ›

Those who sleep on the left believe they are calmer than their partner in a crisis and are more confident in general. It's also reported that left side sleepers are believed to have a greater level of job satisfaction than right-siders. Left-side sleepers may have something else going for them, too.

What does the Yearner sleeping position mean? ›

Yearner. “Yearners” are people who sleep on their side, with their arms outstretched as if reaching for something. 13% of the population are said to assume this sleeping position. Those who choose this sleeping position tend to be very open and inviting. They easily embrace new experiences and people.

What does sleeping on right side mean? ›

People with Heart Conditions. The results from a 2003 study suggest sleeping on the right side can help people with heart conditions. In this sleeping position, sleepers may feel less pressure on their heart. The results also indicate that right side sleeping helps stabilize blood pressure and heart rate.

Why does wife sleep on left side of husband? ›

According to vastu, the wife should sleep on the left side of her husband, for a loving and smooth relationship. 7. Positioning of mirrors is very important in a bedroom. Mirrors facing the bed should be strictly avoided.

Why should a wife stand left to her husband? ›

Let us tell you the reason Why does the wife sits on the left side of the husband? According to beliefs, the male is born from the right-wing of Brahma, and the female is born from the left-wing, hence women are considered to be the left part of the Vamangi i.e. husband.

How do married couples sleep? ›

One of the most widely known couples' sleeping positions, spooning involves one person acting as the “big spoon,” cocooning the other in a sideways hug. “It can be a comfort for many people being so close to their partner,” says Dr.

How do guys like to be hugged? ›

Often a passionate hug is leading to more, but it doesn't have to. If you want to turn the hug into a kiss, lean your torso back so your hips are still pressed together, look him in the eyes, and go for it. If you want to end the hug, squeeze him gently, and lean back.

What does cuddling do to a guy? ›

"Cuddling, especially with someone you like, gives you a sense of closeness and relaxed intimacy that's difficult to find in other activities. If you feel comfortable with the other person, it kind of just let's you relax and not have to do much physically.

What does it mean when a guy cuddles you while sleeping? ›

Cuddling and getting cozy typically indicates that a partner feels more comfortable being intimate and close with you. Some couples enjoy cuddling at night before they sleep or after they make love. Cuddling could also indicate they have deep feelings for you and want to be near you.

Why do guys hug from behind? ›

Why do guys hug from behind? Guys do this to show girls that they care about them and will be there in the future to support and protect them. This guy is not afraid of responsibility or commitment. He wants to show you how much he cares about you by touching you in a hug.

Where do you put your arm when cuddling? ›

Slide your top arm over their body and keep your lower arm behind you, rather than under your partner. That way, you can easily change positions if you need to without waking your partner.

How long should cuddling last? ›

In the few reported studies on cuddling in committed romantic relationships, the average amount of time spent cuddling is about 30-40 minutes and occurs 3 to 5 times a week. Couples will typically cuddle in bed pre- and post-sex, as well as in the mornings.

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